Do you ever wonder about the lives you touch as you go about your day-to-day routine? It occurs to this ordinary lady that we touch and are touched by a variety of people throughout our lives. Some help us be better, stronger people, while others try to tear us down. I would like to think that those lives that I have touched are the better for it. That sounds very arrogant. OK, so it not only sounds arrogant, it is pretty arrogant. <grin>
In all seriousness, I do not want to ever be the person who tears others down. Making someone else feel bad about themselves does not make me feel good. It does not gain me anything, at all. Yet, there have been people in my life who have attacked me (with the intent to tear me down) as if the process is going to make them that much prettier, happier, or whatever. It is just wrong and hate to tell you, it does not make you a better person. Just saying!
Recently, I was introduced to a woman, Ashley, who has touched my life and made it so much better. I have never met her face to face and not sure if we will ever get the opportunity to be in the same room (we live in different parts of the country). I hope we do have that opportunity, but being so far apart has not lessened the impact this wonderful woman has had on my life. She is a strong woman, mother, wife, business owner, and friend. She is the type of woman that some will love to hate, and others will flock to, confident, happy, sexy and happy to make others feel the same.
Ashley and her best friend April are the type of wonderful people that makes me feel better in my own skin. The two are always saying things that are so profoundly true. Beautiful women who are happy and confident in their own skin who help other women feel sexy, happy, and confident in themselves as well. Even better to me, they are both real about their body types, and are not twiglets! I know I have said before that I have a very negative self-image (working on it!) both of these ladies make it so much better! Love them.
So the following is a snippet from Ashley in a conversation that I found very inspiring. The conversation was about how once we become a mom people expect us to conform to the “mom ideal” (which is nonsense folks be who you are!):
Losing who you are is what makes you a resentful, bitter, crabby, grumpy mommy. My kids LOVE my wild hair, my tattoos, my funky clothes, my business drive, and my otherness! They find me much more enjoyable to be around when I remember to put myself on the “important too” list!!
Ladies, loving your sweet kiddos the very best means loving YOU too!!!!
The first lesson we teach our kids is how to be comfortable in their own skin! Accomplish that and you my sweet friend are a good mama!
I love these very real conversations with a wonderful woman who makes me feel better about myself. There were times when my younger self seriously believed that I had to conform to that “norm” for wife, mother, lady, blah blah blah. Losing myself was so easy and hurt more than I could have ever imagined. Let me be clear – it was not my husband (or any man) who pushed these “social norms” at me. In fact, my hubby likes me better when I am happy! Which means he likes me better when I am myself! Nope, it was me, letting those women around me put me down and make me feel bad about myself or about my ability to parent. My own insecurities drove me. I would like to think I am wiser now. I do know that we all need to be exactly who we are, who makes us the happiest. So if that is a mom in the 1950’s fashion more power to you! But don’t judge, harass, or be negative to those who have chosen not to conform to that model! Try to be a positive on the lives of those you touch.