Blogging is an interesting concept. A place where people can express individual experiences, observations, opinions (yep paraphrasing from dictionary.com). I have considered the idea of writing a blog off and on for a number of years. A walk in the life of a very ordinary lady as it were. But that seems sort of boring right? Who really wants to read about an ordinary lady? So many blogs I have read or hear about seem to be by people with more than ordinary lives. Extraordinary people sharing their extraordinary lives with the peons like me. So I have always hesitated to even get started on the path to blogging. I might never have given it a go if it was not for a wonderful young woman I met through my youngest son. This brave soul puts her heart out there for the world on a regular basis in a Blog called “Lady as F—K”. A bit of an eye catching name but a wonderfully written saga filled with humor and creativity (and really much more writing talent that I can ever hope to achieve!) So, here I go, giving this a chance on the premise that if someone who is more than half my age can do it, it can’t be that difficult right? Maybe? I guess we will see. So here is my blog, a story of an ordinary lady.
I am not much of a writer (says the lady who writes contracts for a living. Really very boring contracts for really very boring things. Contracts are exhausting and written almost exclusively in the passive voice – so I apologize in advance for the very passive writing) (reading is much more fun). And really, who cares how bad the writing of this blog is? I am writing this for me! <grin> Seriously, who cares, because if no one reads the blog at least I have one more thing to dramatically cross off my bucket list! Yes, I have a bucket list – don’t you? If not why not? Surely there are things you want to do/accomplish in life? If not why not? Sheesh slackers! <grin> Oddly, most of the things on my list are accomplished, only a couple more things left. I guess I am going to need to expand that list. I am too young to die, and we are supposed to die as soon as we finish our bucket list right? At least that is what I learned from the movie “Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. I loved that movie, I should watch it again. Wonder if it is on Netflix. Ok, off track now. The list, absolutely have a list – you should have one too, nearly completed mine, must add new items before I kick the bucket much too soon. There back on track!
Interesting thing about a bucket list is that the things you want to accomplish change dramatically as you age. I remember as a teen wanting to conquer the world. Well, at least that is how I would have put it because I was going to be the world’s greatest forensic pathologist! Not reaching too high there at all right? Yes I was a huge fan of the old T.V. show Quincy, M.E. But life has a way of changing who we are and what we want to accomplish. So I did not conquer the world. It happens that I still have a fantastic (to me) life that has had a variety of twists and turns. These twists and turns were at times quite humorous and devastating. I am sure as I take this blogging journey I will be touching on all the extremes and the very ordinary middle of the road that is the majority of my life. A nice happy middle of the road for a very ordinary lady.
So a little about me to begin the journey – I will be turning 50 soon! Oddly, I am excited about that milestone when not too long ago I would have said I was dreading it. Half a century that is old right? Shouldn’t I be sad or depressed? Why do we let outside expectations guide how we feel? The truth is 50 is just a number. I do not feel old, my hair is not all grey. My face is not a road map of lines. I am healthy and getting more so each month. I have a lot of things that I still have left to accomplish it’s not like I am death’s door so what is the big deal. So, hey half a century old and still looking forward to a great many things in the future. The ability to look forward as I approach this milestone rather than backwards is a huge accomplishment all on its own. I am learning new things every day. One of my more recent lessons learned is that we each need to celebrate our accomplishment from the past, but live in the now while looking to what the future can provide. I have accomplished a great many things, some large some small. I look forward to accomplishing a great many more. But I cannot live in the past or the future. If I do not live in the now I will miss those big and small things that bring peace, happiness.
I am a wife, mother, daughter, adopted daughter, granddaughter, sister, half-sister, step-sister, sister-in-law, aunt, one time soldier, dependent spouse, retiree spouse, current employee, leader, team mate (the list is really too long every time I read the draft I added more). I believe that all of us wear a variety of hats or carry a whole host of titles throughout our lives. These things shape us, help us to grow (or I would imagine shrink for some). How we embrace each of our titles (or avoid) as we move through life is really what matters the most. We can love them or hate them (or both in some cases). The list grows and helps us define who we are to the world, but more importantly to ourselves.
I find the order of my list of who I am interesting. Why did I list wife first? Why not daughter? Clearly I was a daughter long before a wife. I am sure there are feminist cringing at the wife first and those of Freud’s bent would have a field day finding the hidden meaning behind it all. For myself, I do not believe there is a hidden meaning in how I started my list. I am certainly not taking anything away from my feminist leanings. Also, pretty sure I do not have any of the Freud type issues (he was a bit nuts in my humble opinion). I would say that my list began the way it did because even without knowing we are influenced by mainstream media. For whatever reason wife and mother are often listed first for a woman and when I was writing my list I followed a common path. Let’s face it following the common path is in most cases easier. Not always wise, but easier.
So which of those titles is most important to me? It really depends on the exact moment in my life that I am discussing. Each role played a major part in my life. Some of the roles were short term or barely embraced. Others are ongoing and will likely endure though the rest of my life. The shortest role I have ever taken was that of an active duty solider in the Army. I was on active duty for three years a short span of time that has had a long and enduring impact on my life. That short span lead me to two of the longest roles I have currently in my life that of wife, and of mother. There is a life lesson there – beware of the little things, they get you in the biggest trouble with the longest consequences imaginable! Yes, I am saying that the roles of wife and mother are trouble! Stay single girls, raise umbrellas! Wife and mother are so much trouble, but really more, just more of everything. More joy, more sorrow, more love, more work… just more. Ah who am I kidding, I would not give up any of my roles and I would not have wanted to miss the adventure of being a wife and mother. I embrace all my roles in life – short and long just so I can enjoy the journey and marvel at where the path leads.